OK, here it goes...
My name is Rosa María Weber, I am 31 years old, and I am originally from Spain.
I was born in Madrid, the Capital, and raised in a little town near Córdoba, in the South of Spain,
a region called Andalucía, where flamenco dancing and bullfighting are most popular.
For most of my life previous to these last years, I've considered myself a non-christian with high
ethics and morals taught by my mother, even though I did attend a Catholic school.
Basically, I believed in the beautiful lessons taught by Jesus in the New Testament, and that there
must be a God somewhere, something Great and Almighty, but I certainly did not believe in the Catholic
Church and all their rituals, and unfortunatelly for me, that's the main religion in Spain, the one
that some 95% of christian believers practice. As a matter of fact, once I grew and went on to high
school, I chose ethics over religion (2 subjects to choose between), and I hardly ever went to
church although I did make my First Comunion.
If you're interested in knowing a little bit more about the country where I'm from, Spain,
you will likely enjoy browsing through this web site:
(just click on the little girl holding the map below)

Then, after I finished high school, I was in the dilema of what to do next...
I liked and was good at many things and I was having a hard time choosing my future career.
Until I finally made up my mind and decided that I wanted to leave Spain and
see a bit of our surrounding world, while I perfected my english trying to
become bilingual before going back home to College to become an English teacher.
So that's how I ended up in the good old USA when I was just 18 years old,
only the Lord made some changes in my plans and I did learn the language with time and travelled
a bit, but I didn't go back home to College, I got married instead, can you believe that?
Yes, I was only 19 when I was getting married and trying to repeat after the preacher...
the words did resemble what she had previously said, but that's about it,
I had no idea of what I might be saying. I just struggled to make sure it sounded the same!
Around that time I still wondered why I used to be an honor student and always
got A's in English, yet it seemed like I was never going to learn it well, and
I had heard that once you mastered it, you would even at times dream in English...
Well! You're going to laugh with this one:
I couldn't even understand simple things like "you're welcome" at first!
I used to think that North Americans somehow always figured out that I was a foreigner
and kept welcoming me to their country. So polite!
I also wondered what "what's up" might mean and I used to smile in return
knowing they couldn't be asking me what was up...the sky?.
Oh, and I couldn't tell the difference in pronunciation between sheet / sh_t or beach / bit_h.
I used to get in so much trouble! Let's not forget the time I politely asked
a young man to please give me some fire (a light), since I'm embarrassed to say
I used to be a smoker.
The poor guy almost turned red at my innocent proposal!
OK, another break... time to draw a new graphic...

Well, I did get married and it was one of the nicest things that have ever happened to me...
I was 19, he was 22 and we struggled as much as we had fun. We went everywhere together,
and I mean everywhere... We learned our first lessons in life, made our first mistakes,
travelled all over the States, almost. At the time I was a travel agent and we both enjoyed
some fantastic trips (Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls and Canada, Skiing in West Virginia,
Pennsylvania, New York, Atlanta, California, Virginia Beach, Charleston, Mexico, etc.)
We used to say over and over how we were going to be married forever, until we were two
old looking people holding each other's hand... but again, the future and not God this time
would hold a surprise for us, both of us, I want to believe.
The terrible sounding DIVORCE that I hate so much, decided to separate
our ways five years later. We would pretty much never see or hear from one another
ever again. Such a pity! Such a loss!
Around that time, while we were still together, I was starting to have many questions and doubts,
I would visit different christian churches on occassion, I'd read the Bible (friendly family
versions that wouldn't either scare or bore me away). I had so many things I wanted to understand!
Among them: world catastrophes, hunger, disease, death, pain or suffering in general... Why?
And I also wondered about all the different World Religions, how come?
why would we be the only ones to have it right and everybody else from other countries be wrong?
Let me take a little break again and add one of my favorite recent graphics to support
all the Tsunami victims... May The Lord, Our God, take pity on the survivors and help them through
these so hard times. I also pray for the still suffering victims from Sep 11, 2001.

I would spend almost 7 years in the USA and the next 4 years back in Spain.
In general, I was very happy to be back home, near my family and all,
but I missed my husband very much. Although we were complete opposites in some aspects
we were very compatible in many others, and I adored him so much, I thought he was such a good person...
It was very hard for me to go back to single life, but being back in wild Madrid and around
latin americans in Salsa Discos (due to my passion for ballroom dancing) made it
even harder. Men were so chauvinistic and possessive, so jealous and aggressive, a real nightmare!
And single life in Europe appeared to be so wild to me, plus I couldn't adjust to all the Disco,
drinking and smoking, rather than the group activities and social parties I had got so used to...
I did end up having a serious relationship with a Cuban boy, a real headache from the start
and I actually put up with it for some eight months until I saw I couldn't live like that anymore,
it was too hard a challenge, and it was making me very insecure and sad, really lowering my self-steem.
Finally, following my own boyfriend's mom's advice, I decided to play rough just like him
and to actually break up and put him out.
It was so difficult for me knowing he had no other place to go! But he was actually taking advantage of that.
I figured that 8 months of providing for him and taking care of him without
him becoming more responsible and getting a steady job was enough...
plus I didn't like his temper, his vocabulary, his aggressive behaviour, his laziness, jealousy, etc.
Well, what would you think if I told you I found out I was pregnant only 3 days later? good timing, ah?

It was then that I made my decision of moving back to the USA for good and having my baby.
It became very clear to me that even though I'd never talk bad to my boy about his father, I wanted it over forever.
I left my beautiful house closed in Spain, I borrowed some money from my mom and aunt,
and I crossed over the ocean with my tiny little baby growing inside... I knew that so much was ahead of me!
The first thing I focused on was getting my baby all he'd need once he arrived. I went back to reading my Bible,
this time very seriously as I needed much comfort and wisdom to make the right decisions.
I spent my entire pregnancy doing Bible Studies to accumulate points at The Pregnancy Life-Care Center,
points that I would later redeem for baby accessories, diapers, clothes and toys. Up to a point I had so much fun!
I didn't do any going out, I would just take little walks, read my Bible and other pregnancy and baby related books,
and I also knitted some beautiful baby layettes. And then, from time to time, I would just go to my room and admire
all the baby things I had already accumulated, it was so sweet to look at all those tiny things over and over...
I didn't have a job nor money for a car at first, and I was living for free with some of my most loyal friends,
the ones I had met during my teenage years in the US. On one hand it felt really good to have so much support,
on the other one, for the first time in my life, I felt like a loser, a person who had not been wise enough in making
her past decisions and was now in so much trouble... I had never imagined my first pregnancy would go that way!
But the Lord was with me, and most importantly, I was really with the Lord for the first time.

It was hard though, after having been independent since I was 18, to have to depend on people that way, have my
very own place closed back in Spain, be broke all the time, and in general go through the pregnancy all alone
and without any support from the father. Plus I went from having 3 great jobs and supporting my ex-boyfriend for
so long, to being jobless and not wanting to rely on my mother and aunt to be sending money all the time...
In the meantime, the father of the baby was trying to break into my house in Spain and giving me such a hard
time; by the time I was ready to have the baby, it was the father saying that he wanted to come over what scared
me the most. Thankfully it didn't take much to persuade him, as I didn't want any part in it and he couldn't have
made it on his own. My life seemed to be slowly falling back into place and it was so peaceful! The last thing
I wanted was to deal with that terrible relationship again and again.
My resolution after that period of reflexion was to stick to things such as my family, friends, studies, job,
things that had hardly ever failed me, while I gained my confidence back and became wiser making decisions in
the future. Now, the day I had my baby, with my mother, two close friends and a free doula,
was the best day of my life. No doubt about that!
The Lord was with me every step of the way. I had never enjoyed a hospital like that, it was the best hotel ever...
Life can be so sweet and rewarding at times! I could peek over my right side and see my beautiful and healthy
newborn during his first hours of life, and over on the other side, my beloved mother, all the way here from Spain.
And all my friends kept repeating how beautiful and clean it all had been, plus we had quite a few funny things
happen, all those women and three nurses helping me out, all excited,
counting numbers and screaming push in two different languages,
and me thinking that the baby was never going to come out! (lazy, just like his daddy, I thought, lol!)

It's sort of funny now to think about how much I have had to struggle to get to where I am now, so much hard work!
To pack my entire place, sell the house, take care of my baby and my mom's affairs in Spain, move to the USA,
buy two houses (the one we live in and one we rent out), immigration papers, finding work and a steady income
and finally starting my own business, all while raising my little Pooh bear, now almost two years old... time flyes!
I firmly believe that it was all part of God's plan to bring me to this country so I'd be introduced to
other forms of Christianity, to make me struggle through life so I'd appreciate all and every one of his blessings,
so it would make me humble, and so I would learn to trust him with all my heart and not depend on
my own understanding. All I can say is that my life seems to be getting better and better now that I follow
His advice and guidance, now that I go to God's Word for comfort and wisdom,
now that I call on his name to show me the way and help me making decisions...
Such a Great God we have!
I think about how much I love my baby and how much more He loves us and I feel so spoiled!
I have always been told how mature, responsible and intelligent I am, ever since I was a kid as a matter of fact,
and yet I have made so many mistakes, so many wrong decisions,
and they all led to so much unneccessary pain and confussion.

If you happen to be reading this page and you are undergoing a difficult situation or happen to need some help,
just try and go to the Bible and simply read its pages. Let them work their miracle, let them clear your doubts and
make you want to know more, let them comfort you and guide you in a way no human being can,
just try to go to the Bible with a sincere and open heart.
The results are so rewarding, and those simple pages can fill you up
with so much love, wisdom, hope and peace.
Thank you Lord, with all my heart, for letting me see. I pray that you will always walk before me and make my path,
that you may show me the way and that I may make you proud by following your will and loving and helping others
even if just half the way you love me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Oh! and if you happen to be a doubting Thomas like me, don't try and go to the Bible to understand it all at first,
or to prove this and that, don't try to use your human reasoning to decide what makes sense and what doesn't...
just simply pray to God to open your heart and read... once you start applying the Bible's principles to your life
you'll start seeing things fit in, get solved and make sense. This saying helped me see clearly in the beginning,
while I was studying the Bible just looking for proof to believe:
"When you believe in something, no proof is neccessary, and when you don't, no proof is sufficient"
The Bible is full of proof, don't miss it and get trapped on whatever doubts you might have at first,
always keep praying and reading until it all sinks in.